4:45pm

Im absorbed in Text Twirl when Alexander approaches me with one half of his body all wet. "Mess a the water" he says.

I enter the kitchen to see the bar fridge wide open. Enter the lounge to see water everywhere, on the lounge, floor, kids. They have taken the water jug out and watered the furniture. Then i notice the yellow goop in their hair… what on earth do we have thats gooey and yellow?

…continue reading the story called The Butter Incident

Friday 7:30pm

The kids ate their dinner in font of the computer today- oh the shame… look what we’ve resorted to in lieu of the precious idiot box.

To my utter amazement they ate all their spaghetti while watching Roary the Racing Car and asked for seconds!! Of course there was spaghetti scraps littering the floor but i can deal with that when more than 80% of the food is actually being ingested.

Nicholas finishes and runs off to do something while i wash Alex’s hands in the 2nd bathroom (close to the study). I hear the fridge beeping, as it does when you dont close the door after a while and walk into the kitchen to find the fridge desperately trying to cool the entire room while Nicholas suddenly goes all quiet. I go to investigate in the lounge and find…

…continue reading the story called Olive Oil and Head Injuries…

.. in one day:

- Throw your Nutri-Grain on the floor, only pick up the contents of your bowl after she screams at you.

- Say "Mummy please…" a billion times a day and when she asks "What do you want?" refuse to answer. Especially effective if the ‘Mummy Please’ is said while shrieking and jumping up and down frantically.

…continue reading the story called Ways to test Mum’s patience…

Son,
If you make it to your 18th birthday without me killing you it’ll be a miracle.

You were brilliant for the first two months, not even entertaining the thought of climbing up on the unit below the wall mounted TV. You didn’t even drive your car along its shiny glassy surface (although you did try to rub juice and yogurt into it)…
So why did you decide to clamber up there and drive your car on the screen of Baba’s LCD all of a sudden? The screen is royally stuffed now, 3 nice big vertical lines of liquid crystal have leaked and ruined it.

LUCKY the TV manufacturers have had an issue with faulty screens lately and are fixing it with no charge since its under warranty. Ba did some research and it would have cost us $2,500+ to fix.

Kid, you are kryptonite to TV’s. This is the 3rd one you have killed in as many years. Im off to research perspex screen guards now and you’ll just have to stare at the blank wall for the next 7 days while its being repaired… or unwind that 50m ball of string and run it all over the house, like youre doing right now…

*sigh*

Sunday 4:15pm

Nicholas successfully put his father to bed during afternoon nap time, and ran out of his bed room cheekily.

I was busy doing some work on the computer and set him up with the Chipmunks movie to hopefully allow him to rest on the couch for a while (and perhaps to stay out of my hair). No such luck…

  …continue reading the story called Oh de Toilet! or as the french say “Eau de toilette”

ALex just walked into the Office and confessed that he "made mess" i walked him out to the lounge to find a packet of spaghetti emptied all over the floor and couch.

*sigh* why are my kids such creators of mess? Chris says they are very smart and inquisitive… i wish they were smart enough to cleanup after themselves!!

 Alex’s last confession of mess led to me finding a 1kg tub of honey tipped out all over our rug. 2 weeks later and lots of hand scrubbing to get the stickiness out, the soggy rug is currently in the backyard draped over their play equipment. The dog is sleeping on its hightest point like some strange Beagle slash mountain Goat creature.

The rug has been banished from the house.

How was your weekend?

7am: Woken by Alex screaming and demanding milk. Make milk, deposit child in my bed. Try to drift back to into sleep.

7:30am: Woken by Nicholas also demanding a bottle of milk as he pulls me out of bed by my foot and snuggles in under the covers. Make and deliver milk bottle. Get kicked repeatedly in the bladder region and give up hope of falling back asleep in my own bed and make tea.

…continue reading the story called Appetite for Destruction

"Its been 6 months!" I hear you shouting, "6 months since we’ve had an update on you and the kids!"

I know, i know. Even my mother left a message on our answering machine demanding an update on the blog "The last time there was something new it was July… is that right?" Geez… talk about pressure!!

The reason behind the prolonged absence has something to do with the significant trasmutation of our children from cute cheeky toddlers:

to destructive devil spawn.

My next post will demonstrate the type of disaster i have to deal with…

…and im not even going to bother reporting on the day that they trashed the bathroom, threw everything into the tub and proceeded to take a dump on top of the giant pile of cosmetics, lotions, potions and tub toys (for those slow on the up take, by ‘dump’ i mean poo, shit, kaka, doodee whatever you call it in your village!). I have wiped that day from my mind like it never happened….

Hello!

Remember us?! Its been a while since our last update so i thought it was time i filled you in on whats been happening:

…continue reading the story called July 07 Update

I know this not an agi related video, but thought it was funny since were forced to Dora over and over again everyday for the kiddies…