in·ter·cept
[v. in-ter-sept; n. in-ter-sept] –verb (used with object)

1.to take, seize, or halt (someone or something on the way from one place to another);
2.to sieze a large can of shaving cream from the hands of a mischevious three year old child, at the right moment…

re·lief
[ri-leef]–noun
1.alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.
2. the emotion experienced when one discovers, after 3 days of panic, that their wedding and engagement rings have been stowed away in the hollows of a Ukulele, as opposed to buried in the backyard by a cheeky toddler.

Im actually very surprised that in their 3years of waging a war of disaster on my house, they haven’t discovered the mother load of ‘weapons of mass destruction’ that lie in my make-up drawer.

My cosmetics sit in a large perspex divided tray in the top drawer of my dresser. There is a plethora of loose eyeshadows, mascara, eyeliner pencils, liquid foundation, loose powders, lip glosses, lipsticks and even tiny ziploc sample bags and pots of mineral powder shadows and foundation. If one puts their mind to it, there really is a lot of potential in that one, unlocked, freely accessed drawer, to create enough mess and graffiti to keep me scrubbing and washing till they are are ready to be booted out of home.

On Wednesday morning, i tucked the kids into my bed in a desperate hope that the warmth of the electric blanket and the extra mummy cuddles would lull them into an extra 15mins of sleep.

Fat chance!

Actually, it lulled ME into a quick 15min power nap and since there was no bouncing on my head or doona tents being made i assumed the kids had joined me in my slumber… its so wrong to assume…

…continue reading the story called Tempting Fate

ARGHHHH MUST NOT MOVE SHARPIES FROM TOP OF MICROWAVE!!!

"Son, whats that supposed to be?"
"Its a sun, mummy"

He then spent 20mins avoiding me and commanding "I NOT wash hands!" whenever i opened my mouth to speak to him!

Nicholas was helping me make some Banana Cake last week and was getting annoyed that i wouldn’t let him sift the flour. Before turning my back to get the Vanilla from the pantry i asked him to stir the mashed bananas.

Instead, he decided to scoop some of the flour into the bananas, and onto the bench and floor and himself. I just sighed in frustration, dusted him off and thanked him for his help. Then took the stool away.

He protested wildly for about 30seconds then wandered off. I thought ‘Hmmm… that was a short tanty. Good" then continued on with the cake.

I got it into the oven and was halfway through washing up when there was a blip on my Disaster Radar… the house was quiet… TOO QUIET! I dumped the dishes and raced through the house. Bedrooms? No. Main Bathroom? No. Office? No. Oh wait… there was a light on in the office bathroom. I slide the door open and see :

…continue reading the story called Its Snowing… in my bathroom!!

The sound of continuous flushing always strikes terror in my heart!

Chris and I looked at each other in that silent exchange of:
"You go…"
"No you go…"
Then we both get up to go see what the commotion in the bathroom is all about.

…continue reading the story called How NOT to clean your shoes…

In other news, Nicholas and Alexander have been turned into the "Children of the Corn" they were alarmingly well behaved after i picked them up from daycare today. Nicholas ate all his spaghetti at 5:30 then sat down with Chris and I at 8:30 and ate some noodles too. Really neatly! There was no fighting or brawling over trains and they were sitting on the couch quietly watching a movie when Chris came home.

As soon as I opened the door, he said "Wheres the kids?!", he normally gets tackled around the thighs while they try to run away with his laptop bag and keys. I told him they were watching tv in silence and his jaw dropped! They gave him a small smile and went back to staring at the TV, as he greeted them.

I stood back for a while and waited for their heads to spin or to hear them speaking in tongues- then went back to perparing dinner. Perhaps they’ve been zombified…

Monday was a public holiday so Chris was at home, napping in the afternoon while i did some work on the computer and Nicholas was watching a movie on the couch.
He was quite absorbed n the movie and i startled me when he appeared at my elbow saying: "Mummy, the milk is a mess." He led me by the hand to the lounge and revealed his masterpiece.
…continue reading the story called Milky Way

My parents took the kids for the afternoon while i suffered with a toothache and felt like a zombie from the pain killers. I really have to get those damn wisdom teeth out…

Anyway, my parents took the kids to Bunnings as they had to pick up some bits and pieces. I was impressed at their bravery.

My last Bunnings attempt solo with the kids resulted in a 4lt tub of Osmocote fertilizer being opened and spread down one aisle. For those unfamiliar with Osmocote, its not just the stinky dirt variety of fertilizer. Its billions of minuscule balls of slow release fertilizer, the size of half a rice bubble.

So the Bunnings trip with my parents went without disaster, apart from the kids shouting "Hurry Up Grandpa!" at the top of their voices (egged on by my mother, no doubt!)
When they got home, some groceries were stacked on the kitchen bench while my dad set off to wall mount his new dustbuster. With my Mum and Alex asleep and Dad distracted with his tools, Nicholas set to work…

He dragged the bar stool around the breakfast bar and found a bottle of shampoo and half a loaf of sliced bread. He took both items to the coffee table and made a lovely Shampoo Sandwich! My Dad caught him emptying the contents of the shampoo bottle all over the coffee table when the bread couldn’t contain anymore liquid. "I should have known he was up to something when i heard the bar stool being dragged around the kitchen," said Dad!

SEE! Its not just me! It happens to the professional parents too!

Monday 8am:

It was the Greek Orthodox Easter on Sunday so we had about 20 family members over to celebrate that as well as Chris’ 30th Birthday. After the window breaking incident was fixed it was business as usual with the eating and drinking.

Someone kindly gathered up the two garbage bags of rubbish and placed them outside the gate, near the big  household waste bins, out of the reach of the two dogs.

So imagine my surprise when i woke up on Monday morning to see a random meat tray sitting in the middle of the back yard. I was staring at it, wondering if I’d carelessly left it on the BBQ’s side table when i see the Beagle trot into view holding a glass bottle out the side of her mouth like an over sized cigar…
…continue reading the story called The Easter Aftermath

Sunday 27th April

Its Chris’ 30th birthday today and also the Greek Orthodox Easter Sunday so we have family over for a BBQ at 12. The entire house , including the backyard, has been scrubbed, swept, windexed, dusted etc. Clutter has been ruthlessly thrown of banished to the 3rd drawer in the kitchen (where all miscellaneous objects wind up).

So Im done with brekky by 9am and am washing up when Alex starts having a tanty about the blocks not fitting into the square holes in his truck. He’s sooking and sitting on the window sill and banging his head backwards on the glass panes.

…continue reading the story called MORE window smashing fun…